What if...

What if you were going crazy because life was too intense and your sensitive artistic mind simply couldn't bear the pain, the joy, the insanity of life. What if these intense emotions were the center of who you were, but the only way to survive was to dull it all--to take a drug that would mute life, and all your emotions. And so you lived, but only half-awake, no longer feeling intensely, no longer an artist. Entire events and relationships were formed in this new state of half-awakeness. And then what if you went off that drug, and you woke up, and the last time you remembered feeling anything real was 10 years before. Would it be worth it?