I have someone in my life who is hard for me to deal with.
She drives me crazy, in fact.
The way she drives me crazy is inappropriate on my part. She should not. But she does.
A wise person once told me, after listening to me rant, that the problem was mine, not hers. I needed to learn how to deal.
And I do.
But I cannot. Or I have failed so far.
My normal response would be to walk away. Because having her in my life is not my choice. But in this particular case I cannot. I can minimize contact, but complete avoidance is not an option.
I try to summon compassion, because compassion is needed--for her, and for myself. But those flashes of gentleness only last for 30 minutes or so.
I am mystified, and also curious. What is it that drives me so crazy? Is it that I am rejected? Is it that I cannot deal at all? It is not much time.
Too little detail, I know. But if anyone, anyone at all out there has some deep wisdom on how to deal with someone you want to avoid, but cannot, please, please, please send it to me.
I am open. And desperate.
December 10
8 years ago
3 comments:
I recently received the following advice -- when someone drives you crazy, particularly if you feel judged by them, or if you think that they are critical of you, then ask yourself whether you may be projecting your own self-criticism onto that person. Do they bring up some self-judgment that you are otherwise suppressing? If so, reflecting upon your own self-judgment and coming to terms with it may help.
I don't know if that applies at all in your case(!). In my case I think it does apply, at least sometimes, but it's still tricky to apply in practice.
Best wishes in dealing with this person. It sounds like you are on the right path.
Thinking of you. Good luck. x
hi k.d.--i think you might be partially right. i know i do that with other people...i will have to look deep here. my emotions are all tied up in knots. look forward to checking out your blog!
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