Today was Benji's first day of zoo camp.
Theo went when he was four, and I thought it was time for Benji to have an adventure, too. He is bored by Canyon School--much as he loves his teachers. He has been there since he was in utero. He knows every song, every project, every toy and every book. When I go to pick him up he is always in the corner, alone, reading a book. He doesn't play with friends, and he doesn't really talk to anyone after he says good-morning to the teachers.
He is so smart. So in need of stimulation. And so shy.
So I signed him up for a week of "Cats and Dogs." I drove him over today at 9. He wore his safari hat like Diego's, snapped up on the sides, some too-big shorts inherited from Theo, his favorite river shoes, and his Cars backpack, filled with lots of sunblock, food and water. He is proud, because now he is doing all that Theo does. (camp, backpack, water bottle, hat, sunblock)
I walked him up to the table and signed him in. I put on the zoo camp T-shirt--purple, with a mama monkey and a baby monkey. Then, I introduced him to his counselor, she took his hand, and he walked away.
He looked so little. So lonely. I wondered if he will say a word all day, if he will ask for help if he needs it, or just start to cry. I wondered if he will like it, and if he will be OK.
He is my little one, my shy one, and I worry so much more about him than I ever did about Theo. Is it because he is my baby? I know that physically he is far tougher than Theo. But still. As he wandered away in his safari hat, his hand in his new teacher's, so full of trust, it took all my strength to not run after him and say, "Forget it. Forget it! I will take him today."
I got in the car and asked Theo if he thought Benji would be OK.
"I think so, Mommy," he said.
December 10
8 years ago
2 comments:
okay, i am ignoring my children and crying over my morning coffee, simply because i recognize those singular moments as a mother when we are trying to give our children what they need but are unsure if we are charting exactly the right path. i could see his little/big body walking away. so brave. i hope the day went well-- cats and dogs, oh my!! p.s. if you have any off days in august when you would like to send benja to an activity desi is available! i was thinking a few mornings at gymnastics in silverlake.
yes yes yes to an activity in silverlake with desi. after the 14th. they could become real buddies! would you all come over here and play one afternoon?
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