Too Late

Last night when I logged on for my once monthly facebook session there was a message waiting for me from someone I had never really known: a guy who dated my friend Natalie.

He dated her long ago and began what I consider her sad dating period, when she hooked up with a bunch of guys who were outwardly pursuing enlightenment, and spoke the New Age lingo, but were really nothing more than horny assholes reaching middle age who realized that there were some pretty awesome women out there and they had a shot.

They met at Esalen. He made my friend happy for awhile. She really liked him. They went on some fun trips together, and he made her laugh. He was funny. But in the end he cared about his job, didn't want to settle down, and didn't even want to date just one woman. She was into him, so it broke her heart a little. But what can you do?

He emailed me asking if I knew how to reach Natalie. He said he wanted to make amends.

That was a LONG time ago. Like eight years go. Still.

I sent him an email. I wanted to say, "Too late, asshole!"

But I just wrote, "Natalie is gone. She died three years ago. If you want to talk more, please call."

By the time I walked downstairs to get my tea, the phone rang. It was him.

Of course he was shocked. And sad. He wanted to hear about her. All about her. He wanted to have his own private memorial on the phone. He wanted to comfort me. And tell me how much I had meant to her (I knew. I was there.)

He told me a beautiful story, about a trip they took to British Columbia. He told of how they were on a boat crossing some Sound when suddenly their ferry was surrounded by a hundred viking boats, with sails billowing, heading in the opposite direction. It was some weird subculture of people who made viking boats, and they were sailing them. He said it was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen, and the two of them stood in the front of the boat on the prow, on this sunny day, with hundreds of boats going by like something out of the past.

It sounded like Natalie. She found the beauty, and she threw it up for you to see. She could be annoying, but she never stopped looking, and when I think of her I think of my moments like that with her, too.

So I will hold that image of them on the prow of the boat yelling for joy into the wind.

But I also thought, act now! If you hurt someone, or broke their heart, or were unneccessarily harsh, don't wait eight years to tell them. They might be gone. As in his case. But even if they are not. It is too long. Act now to correct the pains you caused. Don't wait for the perfect time. It may never come.