The Power of Charts

When it comes to my boys, I have found that few things change behavior as effectively, and as fast, as a chart with stickers, and a reward at the end. I know it, and yet each time the power of this exercise astonishes me. Sometimes I agonize--I think, should all behavior be rewarded with some object or experience? Shouldn't some behavior just be expected? And yet, time after time, the lure of the reward gets the boys over the hump into a new habit. Right now we are using a chart to keep Benji in his own bed all night. Sometimes when he goes to bed, as I kiss him good night, he says he doesn't want to do it anymore, he doesn't want the reward--getting to watch Diego one time, or getting to watch Bob the Builder. But at night, when he is groggy with sleep, all I have to say is, "Go back to your room or you won't get a sticker..." and he goes. The other night I heard he and Theo negotiating in the hall. Theo said, "Don't go in there (our room) or you won't get a sticker," and Benji backtracked, and went to bed with Theo instead.
So two weeks ago at a party, another mother who I love, said she no longer uses charts just for the kids. In their family they use charts for everyone. Everyone has goals, columns, and rewards. She said she gets a star if she exercises, cooks a meal from a cookbook (something off the cuff doesn't count.) She also gives herself one for reading a book. In the end she and her husband give each other rewards for their efforts. Some of them are very private. But they make her giggle.
So I started thinking about myself. What do I need on a chart to make me work a little every day. And what reward would make me stick to my plan and form a habit. I want to exercise and cook and read books--but I already do. I love to exercise and I love to cook and I can't stop reading books. Cleaning bores me, and I don't care so much-though I know that would make Jonathan happy (maybe he could put that on my chart). I decided I need a chart to make sure I work a little bit on my book EVERY day. Every day I do something on my book I get a star. The days have to be consecutive. If I break the pattern I have to start over. It doesn't have to be big, but it has to be real. It has to be some writing, or editing, or transcribing, or talking to agents. As for my reward, I will ponder it. A day of surfing? A double feature at the movies by myself? A day of hiking in Santa Barbara with Jonathan? A new dress? A new album? I need to decide before I start so that every time I waver--just like Benji in the middle of the night--I can remind myself that at the end something really good is waiting for me! In the meantime I hope I can form a habit that will stick. Just like my boys.