Monday, July 19, 2010

Boring, but True

My moods swing and I go along for the ride. When I start to reel out of control, or sink into blue, those who know me best ask, "Have you eaten? Have you slept? Are you hormonal?"

I fly into a rage.

No, I always insist. These feelings are real! deep! and true!

And when self-help givers counsel more sleep as a way to happiness (Gretchen Rubin, wonderful author of The Happiness Project and related blog) goes through a gazillion ways to make yourself happier, but hits on sleep as one of the biggest.

BORING!!!!

I want inspirational quotes to cling to and paste up around my work space, a dramatic life change, a new diet of leafy green superfoods, more exercise, a book that will change my life, a challenge that will speak to my soul, a spiritual practice that will keep me practicing.

So I poo poo sleep and its benefits.

I bet you can see where this is going.

After seven years, I am sleeping every night with no child in my bed, all night long! No boys start in our bed, but we always end up with one. I have gotten so tired over time that I no longer consider myself tired. My energy level and outlook are simply a state of being, a new equilibrium. I cannot remember any other way. As proof that the child beside me is not affecting my eight hours I always tell Jonathan: the wiggly boy beside me is not interrupting my sleep, because I do not even wake up when he crawls in beside me. I am surprised to find him there in the morning. I swear!!!

A friend scolded us so roundly a few weeks ago about letting Benji in the bed that I was humbled and promised Jonathan we would kick Benji out once and for all (he is so sweet to snuggle and soon he won't want to snuggle at all...). So we made the chart and we cut a deal: 30 nights in his own bed, no coming us to before daybreak, and he gets a razor scooter.

Tomorrow will be Day 14.

Which means I have slept through the night with no kicks or wiggles or pushes, or fears that someone was going to fall out of bed, or an arm at an odd disjointed angle for two weeks now.

The difference is astounding! I am the old me! I have energy, hope, dreams.

Some new life force is flooding through my veins.

All because of sleep. Glorious, sweet, delicious sleep.

So boring. But sooooo necessary.

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